Monday, September 14, 2009

Tools of the Trade

Tonight I felt a range of emotion from free floating anxiety over the learning curve I struggle with on computers to an excitement in discovering that the class which I thought would be about forms and questions is actually going to fill my carpet bag full of practical tools. I realized that the computer anxiety will pass and the confidence and calm that I will have with tools that are practiced make it all worth it.
One of the Jems of wisdom was, “Be kind to them. They will soften.” I can imagine myself in their shoes with a soft voiced woman like our professor offering me a cup of tea like she was inviting me into her living room. There is nothing better than feeling like someone likes me and would love for me to come back. Better yet if that like could be projected as unconditional acceptance. Now that is a skill that I would like to know more about. In a co-counseling course one of their tenants was that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. I have processed this many times and find it to be true for me and we are all starting where we are. Another nugget was, “People will reflect back your feelings about them.” Boy isn’t that the truth.
I have three daughters in the hormonal puberty stage and if I am looking at them as cranky snarly teens they give it right back to me. If I am telling them about their strengths and gifts they are just that awesome. Today I made a commitment to do my best to put on my rose colored glasses which only reflect their value. And as I think about them I remembered another one liner that I heard tonight. That is, “Hurt feelings come out in anger”. And when anger is coming at me it probably has very little to do with me. So tomorrow I am going to try on the, “Be kind to them. They will soften.” All day. Thanks for a great class Professor H.